Shonda Rhimes Once Told Oprah She Never Wanted to Get Married and Still Hasn't

Shonda Rhimes. | Source: Getty Images

Shonda Rhimes is one of the most successful screenwriters, producers, and authors, with several romantic films and TV series to her credit. But marriage is not on her agenda.

Fans who wonder who legendary screenwriter, producer, and author Shonda Rhimes's husband is, are in for a surprise. In 2015, she made a startling confession to Oprah Winfrey in an interview: she had never wanted to get married.

Marriage has never been something Rhimes dreamed about, not even as a little girl. She wanted to be a mom; she wanted romance in her life; she didn't want to walk down the aisle.

Shonda Rhimes at the "Bridgerton" Series 2 world premiere in 2022 in London, England. | Source: Getty Images

Shondaland boss Shonda Rhimes has given us some of the most successful and iconic series in recent history, among them "Grey's Anatomy," "Private Practice," "Scandal," and "How to Get Away with Murder."

Rhimes not only founded her own mega-successful production company, but she also has a shelf of awards, including a Golden Globe, several NAACP Image Awards, a Writers Guild of America Award, and a Producers Guild of America Award.

For Rhimes, the greatest gift any parent can give their child is a solid sense of self-worth and the confidence that can only spring from knowing they are loved unconditionally.

Her most recent hit, "Bridgerton," now in its third season, has fans addicted and is the screen adaptation of a series of romance novels by Julia Quinn. But while "Bridgerton" has its characters heading for the altar, Rhimes is not a believer in marriage, at least not for herself.

Shonda Wanted Kids and Didn't Want to Get Married

The woman who gave us the most romantic TV series in recent decades was born on January 13, 1970, in Chicago, Illinois, and quickly discovered a passion for storytelling. Rhimes revealed that as a 5-year-old, she already knew she didn't want to get married, but she wanted to be a mom.

The Dartmouth College graduate never felt that being a mother would stop her from achieving her dreams. The same focus that made her a force to be reckoned with in the cut-throat world of showbusiness made her a devoted mom. She said:

“Having a strong sense of self is fundamental to you, no matter what you’re doing. I don’t care if you’re a stay at home mom raising kids or if you’re the CEO of a corporation. It’s really important for your survival.”

In her tell-all interview with Oprah, Rhimes admitted that being a bride or a wife was never part of her daydreams as a child or as a young girl. Later in life, she would have to deal with society's expectations which contradicted her desire to be single.

Shonda Rhimes at the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences' 10th annual Governors Awards in 2018, in Hollywood. | Source: Getty Images

"Looking for a Boyfriend, Not a Husband"

Life became complicated when Rhimes found herself in a committed relationship but discovered she didn't want to move things up to the next level. She confessed:

“I was seriously dating somebody, and I was like, I don’t want to do this. I guess I had been secretly feeling that way and writing it for Cristina [Yang on Grey’s Anatomy]."

Rhimes felt something was wrong with her because she didn't want to marry and admits that she finally felt free of pressure when she confessed to her family that she wasn't looking for a husband. She now says frankly that she is "looking for a boyfriend, not a husband," and that is perfectly alright.

Shonda Rhimes and daughter Harper Rhimes at American Girl Place's Go for IT event in 2008 in Los Angeles. | Source: Getty Images

Shonda Has 3 Daughters, Both Adopted and Biological

Not being a wife hasn't prevented Rhimes from being a happy, fulfilled woman and a mother. The writer/producer became a mom for the first time in 2002 when she adopted her daughter Harper.

Ten years later, in 2012, she adopted a second daughter, Emerson Pearl. Rhimes had worked the adoption theme into her storylines, but few knew she was considering another adoption.

In 2013, Rhimes welcomed her biological daughter Beckett through a surrogate. Having a demanding career and two young children a year apart wasn't easy, but Rhimes managed by having two rooms across from her office for Emerson and Beckett while they were babies.

As the mother of three young girls, Rhimes has become more aware of the problems confronting children and adolescents growing up with social media influencing their lives, expectations, and self-image.

Shonda Rhimes and daughter Harper Rhimes at the 300th episode celebration for "Grey's Anatomy" in 2017 in Los Angeles. | Source: Getty Images

Particularly worrying to Rhimes and millions of other moms of Generation Z kids is the epidemic of body dysmorphia, particularly since most influencers' and celebrities' photos are heavily Photoshopped and don't reflect reality. Rhimes said:

"In a world in which everybody is trying to mold themselves to look the same, looking different should be a badge of honor."

Rhimes revealed that she didn't give her daughters smartphones while they were very young and carefully monitored and restricted what they watched on TV and what they had access to on their computers.

For Rhimes, the greatest gift any parent can give their child is a solid sense of self-worth and the confidence that can only spring from knowing they are loved unconditionally. The producer believes that it is never too soon to empower your children by telling them they are beautiful, intelligent, and interesting.

She makes a point of sharing with them stories of women who have achieved incredible things through their will and determination. One of her favorites is "Goodnight Stories for Rebel Girls."

Shonda Rhimes is passing on to her daughters the strength, resilience, and determination that has made her one of the most successful and powerful women in Hollywood, and she's done it all as a happily single mom.

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